Again I say, amidst everything else we teach and do with them, it is first our young people’s relationship with God and secondly, their relationship with their family that truly matters the most. Homeschool parents should remember not to “sacrifice the important on the altar of the urgent.” Yes, academics are a significant part of our teens’ days. So are other things at times, such as work, music, volunteering, friends, and hobbies. All of these things can be good and helpful, but they can also become stumbling blocks if we are not careful to keep them in their rightful places.

Let us never forget what should have first priority in our children’s lives, as well as in our own lives—knowing, serving, and bringing glory to God. Let us also never forget what should have second priority in our lives—our relationships with each other. It is only when these two factors are solid and deep that our children will be able to step out from a platform of strength, confidence, and peace to reach toward others in need of help.

So stop for a moment and ask yourselves these questions along with me: Are we encouraging our teens to know God, serve God, and bring glory to God? How exactly are we encouraging them to experience this type of personal relationship with God? How are we enabling our teens to pursue their spiritual lives? Have we provided them with Bible study materials, and have we ever joined them in such studies? Do we have regular discussions with them about the difficult aspects of faith—those hard questions that we all have to face? Have we researched various outreach programs with them and then given them our blessing as they go out and serve the Lord by serving others? Have we allowed (no, freely given) our teens the time to devote to such non-academic activities?

If we truly desire a strong relationship with our young people, here are some other questions that we must ask ourselves.

Do they know we will always listen to them?

Really? Do they? Even if it’s something they’re sure we won’t like when we hear about it? We must make sure our high schoolers understand that there is nothing they can say that will change how we feel about them. They need to know that we are always ready to be their sounding board. When they talk to us, we need to give them our full and focused attention. We also need to guard against the urge to downplay their issues. What seems earth-shattering to them may seem insignificant to us, but if it means so much to our children, that makes it important and worthy of our respect. Remember, if we aren’t there to listen to them, they may find someone else who is.

Do they know we will always support them?

Or do they perhaps feel that our support is conditional? Do we only offer our help and encouragement to them when they are involved with something that is important to us? If they choose to follow a career path that is totally alien to our interests and gifts, we should not attempt to sway them to another course. Rather, we should express our confidence in them and cheer them on their way.