What about the times our teens struggle with breaking a bad habit? We shouldn’t nag and point out their failures, and we should never speak of their weaknesses in public. Instead, we need to share with others the many ways our children have blessed us so that our teens will realize how thankful we are for them. They should have no doubt that we believe they can accomplish whatever they set their hearts and minds to if they are committed to following God’s leading.

Do they know we will always pray for them?

Or do they only hear us pray at mealtimes? Are they completely unaware of the fact that we uphold them before the Father daily? Think how much it means to us when we know others are praying for us. Don’t we want our own children to experience the power of prayer? Our teens need to know that we keep a running list of their needs, their problems, their hopes, and their dreams—and that we regularly take them to the Lord in prayer. Of course, this means that we actually have to spend this focused time in prayer. And do we ever discuss our own prayer requests with our high schoolers? If they haven’t yet learned the habit of prayer (and the peace and strength it brings), it is imperative that they do so before they head off to their own independent lives.

Do they know we will always forgive them?

Or might they be afraid to come to us when they have made a mistake? What if it’s a big mistake? Can they count on us to forgive as God forgives? If our teens have a bad attitude, disobey us, or simply choose to do something they understand is wrong, they have sinned. However, if they come to us with a repentant spirit, if they confess and are ready to try again to do right, it is our responsibility to forgive them completely. Psalm 103:12 says, “As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us.” It is not our right to hold grudges or to bring up our children’s past sins when we are upset. Our goal should be to demonstrate the beautiful kind of forgiveness the Father has shown all of us.

Do they know we will always like them?

Or do we find that the problem is we really don’t like them? Oh, we love them. But like them? Perhaps we find this the hardest question of all. We might have a teen whose personality or particular ways just annoy us. Maybe these are teens who are just too much like us, and their weaknesses are a constant reminder of our own failings. It might be that we have never had any common interests with one of our teens, so we feel there is no basis for affection and camaraderie between us. In all of these cases, we may believe that love will have to be enough—but that would be a dangerous assumption.

It is our duty as parents to like our children as well as love them. If we currently have a problem with this issue, we need to pray that God will give us this liking, and we need to concentrate on all the ways these teens do please us, all the good points they have that are unique to them. Until the feeling of affection comes, we need to act as if it were there—in other words, fake it! So many times in life, when we act as we should despite the lack of feeling behind our behavior, the feelings will follow.