Rebels in good families do not become rebels all at once. The parents let one area slip a little, and then another area slips and then another, and before you know it, you have a full-blown rebel on your hands who has totally left the happy, joyful path of serving the Lord.

The diligent parent cannot let disrespectfulness, bad friendships, laziness, stubbornness, or disobedience slip by. They can’t let it happen. Parents must not let their children off the right way for any reason.

Several years ago, one of my girls wanted to go to a friend’s house one Sunday afternoon. She asked her mom, who in turn wanted to know what I had said. Our daughter answered, “Dad said it was fine.” My wife then gave her consent. Later, when we were getting in the van after church that morning, I asked my wife where the missing daughter was. She said, “She went to her friend’s house. She said you gave her permission.” In reality, I hadn’t given her permission; instead, I had told her that her chores had to be done first—but they hadn’t been done yet.

At this point it would have been much easier to have a slack hand and just let her go. But it would not have been best for her. We didn’t drive home. Instead, we drove 12 miles in the opposite direction, pulled in the driveway, and there she was. Talk about a shocked look on her face! We picked her up and drove home. To this day, she clearly remembers that Dad came after her. Why? She tried to sneak off the right path and got caught. If we had allowed her to get by once, she would have known that she could get by again.

We do not lose our children to the world because of strictness that we should have loosened up. We lose our children because of the looseness we should have made stricter. We lose our children not because of high standards, but because we do not have their hearts closely enough to institute and keep the right standards.

Probably the number one reason good, Godly parents lose their children is that the parents violate Ephesians 6:4: “And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath.” They get angry at the child, and that creates anger in the child. As a result, they lose the child’s heart.

What are some of the other influences that can take a child off the right path?

Love

Parents say, “Well, I just love my son too much to discipline him.” I’d like to suggest to you that that’s not really love—it’s emotionalism, and it spoils children. Your children need to feel Dad and Mom’s love, care, and protection at all times. But it is dangerous for you to spoil a child to the point that he does not feel the consequences of his own wrong attitudes or actions.