Coach your kids. If you have older kids, start moving from directing and showing them what to do to coaching them to make their own decisions and mistakes. Speak less and listen more to your children as they work through the decision making process. Let go of control and empower them to learn how to think for themselves and take responsibility for their own lives.

When your kids make mistakes, let them experience the consequences, reminding yourself that painful experiences are valuable opportunities for them to grow stronger character. When your kids succeed, rejoice with them. Have your kids set goals, and remind them of those goals without nagging. Ask thoughtful questions that help your kids determine what next steps would be wise. Cheer for your children to give them confidence, letting them know that you believe in them no matter what. Instead of trying to win battles for your kids, equip your kids to win battles for themselves.

Refresh yourself. You must be refreshed spiritually yourself in order to encourage your kids; you can’t pour life into them when you’re empty. Slow down your pace so you can hear God’s quiet voice regularly. Ask Jesus to give you His peace so you can model a peaceful, abundant life to your kids. Nail your stress to the cross regularly, trusting Jesus to help you without whatever concerns you. Stop condemning yourself for not being perfect, and start relying on God’s grace.

Be authentic. Honestly share your thoughts and feelings with your kids and others, but be careful not to indiscriminately spew out whatever pops into your mind. Ask God to give you the wisdom, humility, and courage you need to be open with your family in appropriate ways. Don’t worry about projecting a certain image as a parent. Instead, focus on genuinely connecting with your kids.

Constantly ask yourself: “Am I living for my own reputation or the reputation of Jesus Christ?” Ask God to help you make sure that what you do and say on the outside matches what’s truly going on inside your soul. Admit your weaknesses, failures, and mistakes, and let your kids see how much you need God. Forge accountability relationships with your children by sharing your problems and sinful patterns with them and letting them see you move closer to God through His grace.

Teach your kids to appreciate the Bible fully. Help your kids discover the Bible’s awesome and mysterious message for themselves. Don’t present it as self-help book filled with moral principles; the Bible is much more than that. Show your kids that the Bible is an exciting, living story about God’s relationships with people. Encourage your kids to read the Bible’s raw stories of people who were both heroic and flawed.