By the age of 12, a young person should have a well-developed sense of responsibility and purpose.

A Keen Sense of Discernment

It’s important for a young person to have good discernment, especially in the company he or she keeps. Again, this is something that definitely, clearly needs to be learned before age 13. At age 12, Jesus was not cruising up and down Jerusalem Boulevard, running the streets or forming gangs. He was with the doctors, the experts in the Word of God. He was hearing them and asking them questions.

Someone has wisely said, “Who you run with determines where you go in life.” Who is it that young people should be around? The older, the wiser, and the godly. Everyone you are around is either discipling you or being discipled by you.

Almost any time young people get in trouble, they are with someone who encouraged them to do wrong, or who they encouraged to do wrong with them. If your child is running with wrong friends, it means that he himself is a wrong friend.

A Burning Hunger to Understand Truth and Wisdom

Luke 2:46: “And it came to pass, that after three days they found him in the temple, sitting in the midst of the doctors, both hearing them, and asking them questions.”

How can you create a hunger for truth in your children? By sharing truths you discover. As you discover a truth and get excited about it, your children will get excited about it—and they will want to find and share truths with you. Discuss messages that you hear at church. Encourage your children’s presence in adult discussions about the things of God.

When I was a young man, my parents would have preachers and missionaries come into our home for meals or to spend the night. I remember the discussions that we used to have and what a challenge they were to me personally.

You must also teach your children the extraordinary value of wisdom. Proverbs 16:16 says, “How much better is it to get wisdom than gold! and to get understanding rather to be chosen than silver!”

What is wisdom? Wisdom is looking at life from God’s point of view. It is seeing life like God sees life. It is the ability to apply knowledge to its practical ends. It is thinking God’s thoughts after Him.

Full Obedience

You see in Luke 2:51 that Jesus “went down with them, and came to Nazareth, and was subject unto them: but his mother kept all these sayings in her heart.” He was totally obedient by 12 years of age.

A parent should work diligently to make sure that all bad attitudes, rebelliousness, and disobedience are gone before a child turns 13.

Ephesians 6:1 says, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.” What is obedience, anyway? To be obedient, you must respond to an order immediately and sweetly. If a child does not obey immediately, then he has actually disobeyed because he has chosen when he will obey. If he does not obey sweetly, then he dishonors parents. The Bible clearly commands in Exodus 20:12: “Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.”