Obedience must not be negotiable. Before 13, children should obey concerning what to eat, what to wear, when to go to bed, with whom to associate, what books they can and cannot read, what duties they must perform, and what kind of attitude they may display.

Obedience to proper human authority is the automatic response of a heart tuned to gladly obey God.

Consistent Respectfulness

You notice the respect of the Lord Jesus here as He is sitting with the doctors, hearing them and asking them questions. You can also see his respectfulness with Joseph and Mary.

Respectfulness is more than just saying, “Yes, sir,” and “No, sir,” though that is a good start. Respectfulness is a whole manner of life. First Peter 2:17 says, “Honour all men.” This means that we need to quit thinking so much about ourselves and treat everyone with value.

By the way, one of the biggest ways youth learn disrespect is by hearing parents criticize their authorities. It’s important for us to be respectful to those in authority over us so that our children will learn by our example.

Total Commitment to Doing the Will of God

It’s amazing to me that for the first 30 years of Jesus’ life, we only have a little handful of words that came from His lips. Thirty years of life, but only two sentences! What were they? “How is it that ye sought me? wist ye not that I must be about my Father’s business?” What was God letting us know? He was telling us that, by age 12, the lot was cast. The decision was made. The commitment was complete.

The Son of God was going to do the will of the Father. And by age 12, that should also be true of our children. They should be totally committed to God. Every 12-year-old, before becoming 13, should come to a definite personal decision that “I must be about my Father’s business.” No wrestling or questioning about it from 13 on. The decision is final. It is as final for a 14-year-old as it is for a 40-year-old; he is going to follow through on this.

Unmistakable Godliness

This is the most important point of all: By age 12, a young person should have an unmistakable godliness about his or her life. I’m glad to report to you that it is just as possible for a 12-year-old to be godly in our day as it was for the Lord Jesus Christ to be godly in His day.

Malachi 2:15 tells us that a key reason God makes a husband and wife to become one flesh is because He wants them to have godly children. The word “godliness” occurs fifteen times in the Bible, and Paul wrote most of those to the young men Titus and Timothy.

1 Timothy 4:7: “But refuse profane and old wives’ fables, and exercise thyself rather unto godliness.”