Consider diamonds and gravel. Diamonds are precious because they are rare. Think about it--no one weaves gravel into a wedding dress; nobody sets gravel in gold or wears gravel earrings, bracelets, or necklaces. Why not? It's because there is an overabundant supply of gravel. Things that are commonplace are naturally taken for granted. Food, water, air, homes, our health, and so on, are not given much thought, nor do they seem very "praiseworthy" until suddenly they become out of reach or are threatened. For the most part, people have been programmed to believe we deserve these basic things in life. And why be thankful for something we deserve? If we deserve something, then somebody should pay big time if we don't get that to which we are entitled.

One of the hardest things for many parents to do is to follow through with "no" (many parents find it easy to say "no"--it's easy to say, but they don't really mean it). There have been so many times that I've heard parents say, "I just want little Timmy to have all the things I didn't have growing up," or "I want my kids to know they deserve good things," or "I want my kids to learn to stand up for themselves and realize their self-worth." Egads ... ideas like that are some of the quickest ways to mold a kid into an absolutely selfish little canker sore. If you want to build a mini-monster, that's a good way to start.

Call me mean-spirited, but I start teaching my kids very early that they are not the center of the universe. I am known to give one of my kids a cookie, but then tell another one "no." They do not get mad or bitter; we have done this enough times for them to understand (and fully accept) that just because somebody else gets something doesn't automatically mean that they are owed something too. We have taught our kids to know that they are not entitled to "stuff." We want them to be prepared for life, and you know as well as I do that life is not fair. I don't want them to covet. I do not want them to grow up and see their neighbor's nice house and nice car and shake their fist at God who may have showered material blessings on others yet withheld material prosperity from them. No, they are learning to be happy for people who receive blessings, not envious of them.

Parents who create an artificial world for their children are setting them up for a cruel joke when it comes time for them to leave. When these kids enter the real world, all of a sudden throwing a fit to get what they want doesn't work anymore. They won't be able to change people's minds by "whining enough." They will mature into full-blown manipulators. The children who have grown up believing they "deserve certain things" will become bitter, angry, depressed adults if they don't get what they want, and they will become empty and unfulfilled if they do end up with a vault of self-serving possessions. It is unlikely that they will realize they have been lied to for the first half of their lives; rather, they will still believe the "self-esteem" lessons their parents ingrained in them. These kids will grow into adults who will wholeheartedly believe that the world just doesn't appreciate their worth, and they will live in conflict with that knowledge. The thought of my kids living a life like that makes it much easier to tell my kids "no."