There are many negative influences in our world that threaten to overwhelm and destroy our families. If we want to live in spiritual victory—and if we want our children to live in victory as well—there are certain key principles we need to understand as Christian parents.

Over the years I’ve had the opportunity to counsel many parents of rebellious teens. Many of these families have been able to experience God’s deliverance from devastating situations by following sound biblical principles. I have seen other families, however, that seemed to have victory for a time, but then began experiencing the same problems all over again. In many of these cases, the parents had failed to understand or implement the principle I call “The Spiritual Law of Replacement.”

This principle is a key ingredient not only to building stronger families, but also to living in spiritual victory on a personal level. The foundation for this principle is found in Matthew 12:43: “When the unclean spirit is gone out of a man, he walketh through dry places, seeking rest, and findeth none. Then he saith, I will return into my house from whence I came out; and when he is come, he findeth it empty, swept, and garnished. Then goeth he, and taketh with himself seven other spirits more wicked than himself, and they enter in and dwell there: and the last state of that man is worse than the first. Even so shall it be also unto this wicked generation.”

I’d like to share three key thoughts based on this passage which will hopefully help you in understanding how to live in greater victory in both your personal and family life.

The Heart Is What Really Matters

We aren’t told anything about the outside of the man Jesus talks about in Matthew 12:43. Instead, Jesus gives us a glimpse into what was happening on the inside of this man. The Bible repeatedly emphasizes the importance of the heart, in passages such as Proverbs 23:7 and Mark 7:20-23. Jesus tells us that it is what comes from within—from the heart—that defiles us. When you see somebody whose life is messed up outwardly, you know the mess started inwardly.

A wise lady once said to my wife and me, “Find out what your children are thinking, then find out why they are thinking it.” Ask your children, “What have you been thinking about? How do you feel about this?” Somehow, someway, worm your way down into your children’s hearts until you know what is going on inside your children. And young people, recognize this: there’s something wrong when you’ll share your heart with a friend, but not with your parent or some other godly adult.

The heart is what really matters. As far as we know, the man in Matthew 12 looked great on the outside. How do we know that? Because he was an example of Israel as a whole. Notice the last phrase of verse 45, “Even so shall it be also unto this wicked generation.” Jesus is talking about the nation of Israel.