Another year went by and no valentines. No card, no candy, no flowers, no nothing! After 17 years of marriage, you'd think my husband would get the hint. Each year, someone would invariably ask me, "What did you do for Valentines?" or worse, "What did your husband get you?" to which, I would reply, "Nothing." I was in a state of agitation, frustration and hurt. I wanted to be loved…or so I mused. Why can't he be like the rest of the world and remember me on the days he's supposed to? These were my sentiments two years ago. 

Valentines Day 2002 had come and gone and I thought I was doing pretty well with having gotten through that day with no tears. Then, the next day, someone called and asked me one of those awful questions. After answering, "Nothing," I hung up the phone and after the lump in my throat started to go down, I began to ask myself a few questions. What was it I really wanted? Was it the candy or flowers? No, not really. Was it a pretty pink and red foil card with someone else's poetic lines? No, not really. What did I actually want then? After searching my heart, I found that these things are what I truly desired:

To be Like Christ
I thought what I wanted was to be like the 'Joneses', or if not, at least look like them. They all gave each other gifts on Valentines Day. Because my husband didn't conform to the world's standards for that day, he was making me look bad. It was all about my reputation, and it was an unpleasant odor. In my heart of hearts, I knew that what I really wanted was to be like Christ. What was He like? He became a sacrifice. Biblical sacrifice means something has to die. In me, it required the death of reputation, which when complete, brings forth the sweet-smelling aroma of Christ.

Philippians 2:5-8 "Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross." NKJV (Emphasis mine)

Ephesians 5:1-2 "Therefore be imitators of God as dear children. And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma." NKJV

To Adore Christ
I thought I needed to be lifted up and adored. To be remembered and worshipped once a year wasn't asking too much, was it? Yes, it was when it was all about my prideful esteeming of self, and it was revolting. In my heart of hearts, I knew what I really wanted was for others to adore Christ. To adore Him is to remember our low estate and the pit of miry clay which we wallowed in before He rescued us, and to highly exalt His name. I needed to die the death of prideful self-esteem, which when complete, brings forth humility and true adoration of Christ.