If you’re wondering if you could be a sex addict – or if you’re suspicious your spouse might be – here are some of the characteristics of sexual addiction:

• It is done in isolation and is secretive.
• It detaches the person from other people or relationships.
• It robs the person of intimacy.
• The self-gratification blinds a person to the harm caused by obsessive behavior.
• It avoids pain and problems.
• It ends in despair.

If you notice some or maybe all of these characteristics in yourself – or your spouse – take notice now, and take action. Here are six steps you can take to break the habit of sexual addiction.

1. Be honest with yourself and acknowledge you have a problem.
2. Tell a trustworthy person about your addiction. Then be accountable to that person.
3. Dispose of all pornographic material you own. Don’t keep any of it. If you’re tempted to rent videos, don’t go news a video store of any kind.
4. Internet pornography is an insidious threat. Don’t go there. Buy blocking software.
5. Be patient, and resist feeling defeated each time you fail. Your addiction took time to develop; it will take time to overcome.
6. Pray about your problem. Rely on God for deliverance and strength. God promises to make a difference in your life. Allow Him to give you the special strength you need to fight this battle and ultimately have the victory.

If your spouse is struggling with an addiction to pornography, but still hasn’t owned up to it, don’t enable his or her behavior. Do what you can to stop the cycle. Make your home safe from pornography. Demand that all questionable magazines and videos be thrown out. Install a filter on your computer that will not allow it to connect to porn sites. Cleanse the house of movies and video games with explicit love scenes. Then, make an appointment for you and your spouse to see a professional biblical counselor. The counselor will help you with problems resulting from your spouse’s sex addiction and will encourage you to keep fighting for your marriage. And of course, keep praying for the situation – for your spouse, for yourself, for your children.

Portions of this article were adapted from "The Great Marriage Q&A Book," Copyright 2006 by Dr. Gary and Barbara Rosberg, all rights reserved. Published by Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.,www.tyndale.com. To order this resource or to find our more about Dr. Gary and Barb – Your Marriage Coaches, visit www.drgaryandbarb.com or call 1-888-608-COACH.

Married over 30 years, the parents of two adult daughters and four grandchildren, Dr. Gary and Barb Rosberg, your marriage coaches, have a unique blend of insight and wisdom that touch people of all ages. Together with Gary's 25,000 hours of counseling experience and Barbara's gift of encouragement and biblical teaching, they are equipping thousands of families across the nation through their interactive daily radio program, conferences, and marriage and family resources.