Last week, three of us women who are over 40 and have been married over 25 years were sitting together talking about midlife and marriage. We each said how much we’d miss our mate because he had become our best friend in life. I shared how on our 25^th  anniversary, we had a vow renewal ceremony and this time our vows sounded very different from the first go around because we knew what it really took to keep love alive for a lifetime. I commented that it was a choice. Bill sees all my flaws and knows them well and he chooses to focus on my strengths instead. For example, he calls my impulsivity  “spontaneity.”  I know Bill pretty much always runs late because he is such a people person, but I choose to focus on the fact he is great at relationships and just ask him to come home 10 minutes earlier than I really need him.

As I shared these simple principles, my new friend gained some hope. She said, “We did make a commitment at the alter. I know we meant it, but I think it is time  for “us” to go on the front burner of life’s priorities for awhile. I want to get back to seeing him as my best friend and my lover. Maybe life will seem fun again then.”  I smiled and winked at her knowingly. Because she said her commitment out loud in front of me --a stranger -- but more importantly, because she voiced her commitment in front of her teen kids. I think she will rediscover her best friend and a second honeymoon might just be around the corner.  

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Need a fresh perspective on life and love? Check out Pam and Bill’s books: Fantastic After 40 and Every Marriage is a Fixer Upper at www.farrelcommunications.com. Ladies, if you are over 40, join www.Seasonedsisters.com. Also, to boost to a marriage at any stage of life try out Pam and Bill’s new DVD marriage curriculum by Lifeway Publishers, Men are like Waffles, Women are like Spaghetti and enjoy hearing and seeing the Farrels teach some great relationship principles with a twist of humor. To order: www.farrelcommunications.com . You can meet the Farrels in person at one of their many speaking events, check out the calendar: www.farrelcommunications.com