Editor's Note: Do you need sound, Biblically-based advice on an issue in your marriage or family?  Dr. David will address two questions from Crosswalk readers in each weekly column. Submit your question to him at TheRelationshipDoctor@gmail.com.

Dear Dr. David,

I am a 33 year old woman and have been married to my husband for almost six years. We presently have a close relationship and are very happy. However, in the first year of our marriage I discovered my husband's addiction to pornography. It devastated me. I am still trying to recover. How do we recover from this hurt. Both of us are still hurting...he feels guilty and ashamed of his past, I sometimes feel angry, resentment, and fear him being led astray again. In addition, it does not help me have a healthy body image. How can I heal from his betrayal? I love my husband and want to make our marriage work. ~ Betrayed

Dear Dr. David,

I have been betrayed by my wife who had sex with another man on several occasions. We did not have kids when it happened, but now we have three. I am often reminded about what happened as the man who was involved lives in our town. I cannot describe the hatred I have for him. I have cursed him every day of my life for the last few years and I cannot get over that he is just carrying on with his life while mine is a life of daily pain and anger. I have tried praying and have tried counseling with the church, but it seems there is no one that has any understanding of the hurt involved. They say I must forgive and move on. I am sure this is true, but it is not that simple.

My wife has apologized and I have tried to accept that, but I just don't see her the same way anymore. She has really tried hard,but I just don't seem to have that feeling toward her that I once had. I feel that I love her enough not to be without her, but not enough that I could just go on with her as though nothing has happened. I am still so angry. I feel that she obviously did not love me enough and was therefore able to do what she did. Sometimes I even feel that I hate her and if it wasn't for my two kids I think by now I would have divorced her for sure. I need some desperate help and I hope for my kids sake that there is. ~ Betrayed

Dear Betrayed,

In both of these situations there have been very painful betrayals. While the circumstances are somewhat different, both feel understandably angry, hurt and frightened.

The responses to the betrayal, however, are somewhat different, with the woman appearing to be more dedicated to restoring her marriage. In the second situation, the man not only harbors resentment, but rehearses and nurses his resentment on a daily basis.

Sexual betrayal is perhaps the most intimate and painful violation that can occur in a marriage, and I’m not suggesting for a moment that it should be easy to forgive and move on with life. Rarely do I see couples rebound quickly from such an intimate and personal loss. Thankfully, however, it can be done. Let’s consider what needs to happen to recover from sexual betrayal.