Keep your marriage pure. In such a filthy culture, we must constantly guard the sanctity of our marriage. Don’t even get close to the edge of purity.

If you or your spouse have made mistakes in the past, God will forgive and wash those sins away. Let Him! And enjoy the freedom grace brings!

I am happy to announce that six weeks later, I was neither disappointed nor mortified by the messages, even with our older guests in tow.  And, without providing too much personal information (motherly eyes are reading, you know), the discussions that were sparked by the series also fanned a few flames elsewhere in our marriage.

A seasoned perspective…
Deborah Raney

Tobi sent me her column weeks ago, and yes, I’ve been busy with a book deadline, but the truer reason for the delay is that I’m just now getting up the courage to write the “seasoned perspective” on this touchy topic. (Daughterly eyes are reading, you know.)

In our almost thirty-three years of marriage, marital intimacy has hit every point along a continuum––from pure joy to abject misery. And without fail, the reasons for the latter were our failure to heed the points Ryan and Tobi’s pastor so wisely made. Whenever we’ve struggled in this area of our marriage, it has nearly always been because we gave sex a skewed role in our marriage—placing either too much or too little importance on its role in the whole of our lives together. Problems have arisen when we were selfish rather than loving and giving, when we didn’t bother to understand each other’s needs for intimacy and how it should be expressed, and when we didn’t take time to communicate about this vital aspect of a loving marriage.

Sex is the one (and some would argue, the only) expression of love that we share with no one else…solely with each other. That should tell us something about the weight we ought to give it in the whole scheme of things. And yet, a good sex life is not the be-all and end-all litmus test of a happy marriage. As in so many other areas of marriage, balance is the key.

Probably the most practical lesson I’ve learned along the way is that no matter his age, a man wants to be wanted…often and enthusiastically. And Ken has learned that sometimes the sexiest thing a man can do for his wife is…the dishes. If you don’t believe that, just ask your wife!

Over the decades, as I’m sure God intended, making love––the physical expression of our love––has provided comfort, joy, security, reassurance, emotional healing, and more than a little hilarity. (Maybe someday I’ll tell about the night we set the pillow on fire.)

Most importantly––and lest we forget a very important reason for God’s gift of sex––through our love and our physical union, God created four of the most wonderful human beings we’re privileged to know.