But I’m glad it doesn’t end there. Without providing too much personal information (as Tobi so gracefully put it) I will say this: Sex has only improved with age. It continues to be a gift we treasure highly, and it has become, even more than when we were younger, I think, a most beautiful expression of the love God gave us for each other, the one thing I share only with this man I love more than anyone else in the world; the one thing he shares only with me.

Year after year, Ken and I agree that sex truly is one of God’s very best ideas.

Discussion:

Read Ephesians 5:31-32 and 1 Corinthians 7:4-5.

Genesis, Matthew, Mark and Ephesians all have strikingly similar references to a man leaving his father and mother and uniting to his wife, becoming one flesh. In the passage in Ephesians, Paul calls the one-flesh union of man and wife a “profound mystery” and compares it to Christ’s love and sacrifice for the church. Have you thought about this analogy in relation to your own marriage? If not, how might it change your attitude toward sex and toward your spouse if you were to do so?

The Bible speaks surprisingly frankly about sex, especially in Song of Solomon. Are you surprised to find such vivid images and such explicit instructions to believers about this aspect of marriage? Why or why not? What do you think this says about God’s view of sex?

1 Corinthians 7:4 and 5 speak of the husband’s body not belonging to him alone, but also to his wife, and the wife’s body not belonging to her alone, but also to her husband. Have you viewed ownership of your body in that way?

These same verses also admonish husbands and wives not to deprive each other of the privilege of intimacy, except for a time of prayer; but then to come back together, lest either of you be tempted. Have you put into practice the generous giving of your bodies to one another? What about times of refraining from intimacy so that you may devote yourselves to prayer? (Remember, the Bible says this is to be by mutual consent.)

What are some ways you and your spouse have struggled with intimacy in your marriage? Are you able to talk openly about those problems? If not, have you sought help through some of the many Christian books available, or perhaps through the advice of your pastor, another Christian couple, or a professional counselor? 

Deborah Raney has been writing for thirteen years and is at work on her seventeenth novel. Her first novel, A Vow to Cherish, inspired the World Wide Pictures film of the same title. The book was recently reissued in an updated version for the ten-year anniversary of its first release. Deb and her husband, Ken, have been married for almost thirty-three years and live in Kansas. They have four children and are enjoying being new grandparents. Visit Deborah's website at http://www.deborahraney.com/.

Tobi Layton is a fifth grade teacher and freelance writer in Missouri. Tobi has been married for almost six years to Ryan Layton, a high school biology teacher. Tobi and Ryan successfully defended their master’s theses this summer at Southeast Missouri State University in Cape Girardeau. The Laytons have a toddler son and are expecting another baby in October.  

Tobi Layton is the daughter of Ken and Deborah Raney. The Raneys and the Laytons share an August 11 wedding anniversary.