Finally, married people are emotionally happier on the whole than singles, and they have more stable and secure relationships within their communities.²¹

In some families, cohabitation is no longer cause for parental disapproval. But in many families, cohabitation is still immoral and embarrassing to extended family members. Live-ins from these families run the risk of damaging their relationships with parents and experiencing the withdrawal of parental and extended family support for the relationship. Additionally, the temporary nature of live-in relationships may limit access to grandparents for children who might end up switching sets of grandparents multiple times.

People who live together may seem to have achieved the same benefits as married couples, but those benefits vanish in the long run and they are no better off than singles.²² Because cohabiting relationships are temporary by nature, the benefits last for a relatively short time, and if the couple splits up rather than marrying, the benefits are lost at a high emotional and psychological cost very similar to what people experience in a divorce.²³

Surprise! The vast majority of people might be surprised to learn that married couples have better sex lives than couples who are shacking up. Because marriage is the capstone of commitment in the relationship, it adds a deeper sense of internal security to one’s sex life. Married couples are more likely to perceive love and sex as intrinsically connected. This makes sex between married couples essentially more satisfying because the spouse’s intentions and commitment is not in question. Don’t get me wrong: Live-ins are having sex just about as often as married couples—but they are less likely to say they enjoy it as much as married couples do.²⁴

It is often hard to distinguish between a lie in truth’s clothing and truth itself, so it’s no wonder why living together can appear to be like marriage: shared living space, diminished cost of living, convenient sex, even having and raising children together. I often hear, “We are just as committed as any married couple” . . . but the numbers don’t lie. Studies show a lower level of commitment between these couples, less dedication to the continuation of the relationship and less willingness to sacrifice to preserve the relationship. Moreover, these couples report lower levels of happiness, less sexual fidelity, more sexual dissatisfaction and poorer relationships with their parents.

Living together as a married couple is not an effective trial marriage. It does not provide divorce insurance and cannot compete with the rewards and benefits of a strong, committed marriage. Couples are better off in life’s measures of success and happiness (emotional health, physical health, personal wealth, general happiness and longevity) if they are married rather than living together. People need to know that Satan’s counterfeit of living together fails to bring couples the happiness and stability they desire in a close intimate relationship. Shackin’ fails to reap the benefits of marriage.