Editor's Note: Do you need sound, Biblically-based advice on an issue in your marriage or family?  Dr. David will address two questions from Crosswalk readers in each weekly column. Submit your question to him at TheRelationshipDoctor@gmail.com.

Dear Dr. David,

I have been married to a nice guy for over ten years now.  Although our marriage is on the whole, a happy one and pretty satisfying, there is an area in our marriage where I feel threatened and in somewhat of a competition.

We lack emotional intimacy.  At least I think we do.  My husband’s idea of emotional intimacy with me is to spend an evening watching television and chatting with me on commercials.  But the big difference is that he has no problem calling his mother every day and taking the time to really have a talk with her about her day, ask for some advice, speak about family matters, etc.  I end up feeling left out and I will admit, feeling jealous too, because somehow although things are pretty easy-going in our marriage, it always seems to be a competition for my husband’s attention.  

I try not to show my feelings of annoyance, but he can always tell.  To complicate matters, if he doesn’t call his mother everyday, she will call him and ask if “he is still alive,” to which he doesn’t see anything wrong, as being the mother, she can come and visit any time she wants and call anytime she wishes, according to him.  That’s our biggest point of contention in our marriage, as my parents raised me quite differently. 

Dr. David, I know my husband.  He is just trying to do the best for his parents. He is an all-around caring guy, who feels deeply responsible for his parents’ well-being.  I can understand that, but still, I feel that emotionally he feels more of an obligation to them than to me.  He would disagree with that, but that’s what I feel, especially now that his parents are getting older, it seems to be getting worse.

Could you please help me to deal with this?  Should I admit to him that I am jealous of his relationship with his mother?  Should we both pray about this, or should I keep it in my private worship time?  How do I lovingly confront him about this situation without seeming heartless and rude? ~ Left Out 

Dear Left Out,

You have given me a perfect opportunity to get on my soapbox about men and relationships—so here goes.

While there are certainly exceptions, and I’m trying hard to be one, men generally have been emotionally absent in relationships. While we may make great golf buddies, and are hard-working, loyal employees, we don’t have the best track record when it comes to relationships. Making conversation with our spouse, one of their greatest needs, tends to be our weakness.