Editor's Note: The following is a report on the practical applications of Leslie Vernick's new book, The Emotionally Destructive Relationship, (Harvest House, 2007).

Physical injuries like bruises or a broken arm are visible, presenting obvious evidence that something’s wrong with a relationship that causes them. But emotional wounds are often hidden beneath the surface a relationship that seems fine at first glance.

Although emotional injuries aren’t as easily seen as physical ones, they’re just as real and painful, and just as worthy of your attention.

If you or someone you know is suffering from an emotionally destructive relationship, here’s how you can break free:

Recognize when a relationship has become destructive. Understand that a relationship is destructive when: One or both parties commit physical, emotional, verbal, or sexual abuse upon the other; One person is regularly overprotective, overbearing, or both toward the other; One person is overly dependent upon the other to affirm his or her personal value, to meet all of his or her needs, and to make most of his or her decisions; One person demonstrates a pattern of deceiving the other through lying, hiding, pretending, misleading, or twisting information to make something appear other than what it is; or One person exhibits chronic indifference, neglect, or both toward the thoughts, feelings, or well-being of the other. Know that, while we all can sin against others in these ways occasionally, what makes a relationship destructive is a repetitive pattern of sin, and a lack of awareness, remorse, or significant change.

Understand the qualities necessary for relationships to flourish. Know that, in a healthy relationship, the people involved should care about each other enough to be committed to each other’s well-being. They should care about each other’s thoughts and feelings, and pay attention to issues that the other person in the relationship considers important or urgent. They should be completely honest with themselves and with each other, and not hesitate to be themselves when they’re together. They should respect each other, and have the freedom to lovingly challenge, confront, and strengthen each other.

Face problems when you encounter them. Even though it seems easier to ignore problems or try to get by with them, realizing that avoiding problems in the relationship will only cause the damage to grow. Decide to acknowledge and tackle problems whenever you notice them.