Editor's Note: Do you need sound, Biblically-based advice on an issue in your marriage or family?  Dr. David will address questions from Crosswalk readers in each weekly column. Submit your question to him at TheRelationshipDoctor@gmail.com.

Dear Dr. David,

I have been dating a man for several years and we are moving towards marriage next spring. We're both Christians and in our early thirties. There are several problems that persist in our relationship, and I’m wondering if I should be concerned.

First, he has an explosive temper. Counselors have told us that he has “issues” based upon his childhood. He walked out of our last counseling session angrily because he felt the counseling was too difficult. He agreed to return to one counseling session for me, knowing that I felt it was important to face these issues. He said that would be the only time he’d go for counseling.

 Second, he struggles with financial problems. I have had to bail him out of problems on more than one occasion. He assures me that after we are married, and living on two incomes, the financial worries will disappear. Though he still struggles with impulse purchases, he tells me this problem will also go away.  

Finally, we are both over-weight, and struggle with eating problems. Here again I am concerned that these problems will follow us into marriage, though he assures me that once we are married these problems will disappear. Please tell me what you think. ~ Need Reassurance

Dear Need Reassurance,

I’m sorry, but I cannot give you the reassurance you desire. In fact, I think it is wishful thinking to believe that once married, all of your problems will magically disappear. If anything, problems seem to increase after marriage. While there is often a “honeymoon” phase to the relationship, which is where you may be now, there is another season when you truly get to know your mate where tensions can multiply.

I applaud you for listening to your heart and your God-given wisdom. You’ve accurately noted several areas: your boyfriend’s explosive temper, his refusal to participate in counseling, financial problems and weight issues. Let’s talk about each one.

First, his explosive temper. While it certainly may be true that his anger is fueled in part by his troubled past, his behavior is still concerning. His anger appears to be driven by immaturity as much as his past. The Scriptures offer many warnings about anger—here are a few:

·        “Be angry and sin not.” (Ephesians 4: 26)