Accept the gender differences between you and your husband. Instead of expecting your husband to relate to you as a woman would, recognize that he has a different natural way of communicating. Know that men often focus on facts rather than feelings, and try to solve problems rather than empathize. Ask God to help you accept and love your husband as He does – unconditionally. Choose to love your husband rather than seeking love, and decide to try to understand him instead of trying to get him to understand you. Trust that, in the process, God will use your marriage to help you grow into a stronger person. Appreciate the different perspective that your husband brings to your marriage, and make time to listen and consider his views regularly.

Get rid of Prince Charming. Forget the mistaken idea that your husband should like a perfect prince ready to rescue you from all your troubles and meet all your needs. Realize that he is just what God made him to be – a regular guy who’s your companion through life. Let go of your unrealistic expectations. Instead of turning to your husband for your happiness, strength, and security, depend on the only One who can truly provide that – God. Make sure that God is your top priority; give your greatest love and devotion to Him alone. Release your husband from the pressure of having to live up to impossible expectations and give him the freedom to be who he is. Remember that, as an imperfect human being, your husband will sometimes fail you, but you can always count on God.

Move beyond a stalled relationship. If you’re not seeing the growth you hope to see in your relationship, don’t nag your husband about it. Instead, ask God to show you the ways in which you need to change yourself, and focus on your own personal growth. Know that, while you can’t change your husband, you can change the dynamic of your marriage if you change yourself. Pray for forgiveness for any contempt you have for your husband. Rather than lecturing your husband about concerns you have about him, pray for the wisdom to know what to say, and when and how to say it best.

Redefine romance. Recognize that true romance isn’t about fancy dinners or chocolate, beautiful jewelry or flowers, or a glamorous trip to a secluded island – it’s all about unconditional love in a covenant commitment. Seek to create a love story between you and your husband that only the two of you know – one that builds intimacy through both good and bad times, and keeps getting more and more exciting because you keep learning more and more about each other, no matter how long you’ve been married. If your husband is steady, reliable, honest, and true, be grateful for him, realizing that such qualities are much more romantic than a man who gives you glamorous gifts but can’t be counted on to be there for you no matter what. Keep up a love affair with your husband for the rest of your lives together, expressing your affection in fresh ways every day.