Premarital counseling is an essential tool for going into your marriage with realistic expectations. Many churches offer premarital classes. All couples have a better chance at a happier marriage when they take advan­tage of as many preparatory opportunities as possible. Consider finding a mentor couple with whom you can develop a friendship.

As you consider the kind of wedding you want, have you thought about how the wedding customs of our "traditional American wedding" came about? The truth is that most of the traditions we think of and that we see at weddings in America were influenced by the traditions of our ancestors who came from many different parts of the world. In the past, America was called "a melting pot," meaning that many things contributed to and melted together to form the culture we call "American" today, and that certainly applies to weddings.

Here are some interesting ideas about where some of those influences came from--just keep in mind that historians and experts don't always agree on these things, but it's still fascinating to think of them: 

• Bridal Shower Several traditions refer to this. One is that at a party, the bride's friends placed small gifts inside a sun umbrella and opened it over the bride's head.
• White Wedding Dress In the beginning, the bride simply wore her best dress, but in the 1840s Queen Victoria chose a white wedding dress rather than the royal silver one. And brides have unknowingly copied her to this day.
• "Tying the Knot" In the Roman Empire, the bride wore a girdle tied in knots. Thus, the wedding was described as "tied in knots."
• Throwing the Wedding Bouquet The bride was considered lucky, and people tried to tear a piece of her dress as a good-luck charm. The bride's tossing the bouquet gave the people the possibility of a good-luck memento without having her dress torn.
• Bridesmaids' Dresses Often there was much superstition, and since the bride needed to be protected from evil, bridesmaids wore dresses like the bride to confound evil spirits.
• Bride's Veil Some researchers believe that because marriages were arranged, the groom didn't always see his bride beforehand, and, for fear that he wouldn't like what he was being "given," she was veiled until the deal was sealed.
• The Money Dance Some couples didn't have enough money for a dowry, so the money dance assured that the bride's family would have some money to give to the groom's family. Today the money is often used for the couple's honeymoon.
• Tossing Rice Originally nuts and grains, which represented prosperity and many children, were thrown. But during poor harvest times, rice was tossed instead.
• Wedding Cake In Roman times, wheat or barley wedding cakes were broken over the bride's head in the hope she would be fertile. For good luck, guests grabbed pieces to take home. Historians haven't figured out where the tradition of smashing the cake into each other's faces began.
• Ring Finger Prior to the fifth century, the wedding ring was placed on the index finger. But later, the belief that a vein leading to the heart was in the third finger caused it to be changed to this finger containing the "vein of love."
• Diamond Wedding Rings Italian culture first included diamonds in the wedding ring to represent flames of love. In the earliest records, the wedding ring began on the bride's wrists and ankles where her groom tied plaited circlets to prevent her spirit from running away.
• Honeymoon Some cultures required the groom to hide his bride for a one-month cycle of the moon and drink mead, a honey-sweetened alcoholic brew that was thought to increase fertility.
• Carrying the Bride Over the Threshold One theory is that the groom and his friends "stole" the woman from another tribe, and she had to be carried into his house.

Here are a few international wedding customs: