Since you feel threatened, I’m puzzled as to why your boyfriend won’t takes steps of precaution, which you both agree upon, to end your jealousy. The fact that your boyfriend won’t empathize with your feelings is concerning. Your jealousy is an opportunity for him to empathize with you, reassure you and seek an agreement where you feel secure.

This “other woman” is your boyfriend’s co-worker, and as such, there is little you can do about her behavior. What you and your boyfriend can do is agree upon his behavior. Seek an agreement where he will not socialize alone with her, and certainly never be dishonest with you about her. He needs to send his co-worker the clear message that he is “taken.” Perhaps even creating an opportunity where you both are together with her will help solidify the issue in her mind.

What should you do if your boyfriend refuses to take your feelings seriously? If he won’t take your feelings seriously now, when you are dating, he certainly is not likely to take them seriously in marriage. Think about sharing the importance of this matter and the need to come to an agreement that works for you.

Readers: Please cast your vote as to what you think this woman should do in this situation. Is jealousy usually one person’s problem in a relationship or, as I have suggested, an issue involving both parties?

David Hawkins, Ph.D., has worked with couples and families to improve the quality of their lives by resolving personal issues for the last 30 years. He is the author of over 18 books, including Love Lost: Living Beyond a Broken Marriage,    Saying It So He'll Listen, and  When Pleasing Others Is Hurting You. His newest books are titled  The Relationship Doctor's Prescription for Healing a Hurting Relationship and  The Relationship Doctor's Prescription for Living Beyond Guilt.  Dr. Hawkins grew up in the beautiful Pacific Northwest and lives with his wife on the South Puget Sound where he enjoys sailing, biking, and skiing. He has active practices in two Washington cities.