Editor's Note: Do you need sound, Biblically-based advice
on an issue in your marriage or family? Dr. David will address
questions from Crosswalk readers in each weekly column.
Submit your question to him at TheRelationshipDoctor@gmail.com.
We all want the fairy tale. Women want Prince Charming to
come to their rescue. Men want Cinderella to appear, gorgeous and radiant,
seeing them as their Prince Charming.
Can you remember the rush of feelings you had when you first
met your mate? Do you remember feeling like a high school kid on her first date,
wondering if he’ll really like you? Or, asking her out and discovering she
wanted to see you again? It was magical.
You made time for one another. You listened to her/ him, and
showed your understanding and support. You reveled in discovering this person.
Over time, however, the magic dissipated. Busyness and
obligations crept in and stole some of your joy. The shine wore off, the
titillating feelings disappeared, and you wondered what happened to Prince
Charming or Cinderella.
One of primary challenges, in growing up, is to realize that
Prince Charming and Cinderella are fairy tales. No one is perfect, and if
you’ve been in a relationship for longer than a few months you quickly realize
this. You discover that everyone—including you—has their warts.
A recent email illustrates this problem.
Dear Dr. David. I have
been married to my husband for only three years, and already it seems like we
take one another for granted. He no longer treats me special, and more and more
I don’t feel like treating him special either. Every day seems as dreary as the
one before. My husband has a full time job as well as a part-time job as a
Youth Pastor at our local church. He works the other job because he can’t
manage his money and won’t listen or let me assist. He does things without my
input and because “he’s doing what’s best for the family.”
I also work
full-time. We both commute at least fifty miles a day, seven days a week
and have been for twenty years. The commute to
church weekly is more than I can handle. Of course, as a Pastor’s wife,
I’m expected to be at church every time the doors are opened (Monday, Friday,
Saturday and Sunday). To add to our marital problems, he has an anger
problem when he doesn’t get his way or we don’t agree. What can we do to
renew our marriage?
