Dear Reader: It is quite obvious, from these few words, that you have both let other obligations and responsibilities get in the way of keeping your marriage alive and fresh. While we wish, and sometimes believe, that our marriages will take care of themselves, this is not true. They require constant attention to keep them alive.

There are several Biblical principles that can help us keep our marriage flourishing.

First, we must cling to our spouse, and in doing so must always keep the importance of marriage before us. You and your husband have many distractions, and seem to have forgotten the importance of clinging to one another. The Apostle Paul reminds us, “For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church." (Ephesians 5:31, 32)

Second, we are commanded to love our mate. Again, the Apostle Paul in his letter to the Corinthians tells us how love is to be lived out. “Love is patient, love is kind, and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.” (I Corinthians 13: 4-7) Love seeks to meet the needs of our mate.

Third, we can choose to be loving toward our mate. There are problems in your marriage which need attention; in the midst of these problems, you can still choose to be loving. You can encourage him to create time and space to renew your passion for one another. You can remember the joys you had when you first dated one another. You can re-create that environment so your love for one another flourishes again.

Fourth, we don’t ignore problems. While there is a challenge to love your husband, you need not ignore the problems in your marriage. You have noted busyness, self-centeredness and anger as a few of your problems. You are becoming exhausted with obligations which may no longer be appropriate for you. Love doesn’t mean ignoring problems—you will need to sit down with him and fully address these issues. Your marriage needs a major tune-up.  

Finally, our love for one another is built upon God’s love for us. “We love, because He first loved us” (1 John 4:19) God showed His compassionate love for us, and we are able to show compassionate love for others. Our very ability to love is rooted in our acceptance of God’s love and compassion for us. Filled with God’s love, sit down with your husband and tackle these problems, restoring the magic you once had for one another.