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Preparing to Marry Judas?

Preparing to Marry Judas?

Meg Wilson

Crosswalk.com Contributor

Tracy, an attractive brunette, sat in Sue’s living room pouring out her disappointment in round salty drops. Sue was her friend from college, and they had shared many joys and tears over the years. 

“I thought I did it right,” Tracy sobbed. “I dated only Christian guys with marriage potential. Once I found Mr. Right, we waited for the wedding before becoming involved physically. He seemed like such a godly man.” 

 Then came her bombshell.

“We didn’t even make it to our second anniversary before he cheated on me. Then I found out he was looking at pornography on the internet and has been since he was a teen. I feel like I married a traitor. How many nights has he come home to me after being with her, or looking at countless images, only to give me a Judas kiss? My folks told me we were going too fast. Even you tried to tell me.”

Sue worked with the college girls at her church, and as she listened to Tracy’s story, her mind raced to recent conversations with a girl in her group. Brittany talked about her “Mr. Right” and nothing else. 

“He is such a good Christian,” Brittany often said. “I just love to watch him play the guitar with the church worship team. I can SO see myself with this guy.”

At the next youth meeting, with Tracy’s story fresh in Sue’s mind, she decided to ask Brittany some basic questions. Their conversation went something like this.

“How long have you known Jeff?” Sue asked.

“Two wonderful months.”

“What makes him a good Christian?”

“He loves to worship the Lord and he likes going to church.”

“What is one fault that you’ve found?”

Brittany looked confused, “Oh, I can’t think of anything. He is everything I prayed for in a guy.”

Sue paused, “What about his family, how do you get along with them?”

“Oh, we hardly see them. We just love being together. Why so many questions, Sue?”

Sue gathered her thoughts before she spoke.“Brittany, it’s great that you’ve found someone special, but now’s the time to really get to know Jeff and his family. If you did get married, it would be a package deal. You would not only get Jeff, but also a mother and father-in-law. Not to mention his siblings and other family members.”

“I never thought about it like that,” Brittany said.

Sue asked, “What will you do when the first real test comes?"

“What kind of test?”

“Brittany, you both will let the other down at some point. Every one of Jesus’ disciples who loved him betrayed Him after his crucifixion.” 

Brittany stared at Sue with a puzzled expression. Then she said, “I haven’t really given this relationship enough thought. It’s all been about my feelings and dreams. Thanks for being real. I’m going to have to open my eyes and ask some hard questions.”

Sue decided to see how the other girls felt about finding their future husbands. How many other young women, like Brittany, approached dating with only idealistic notions about marriage? Their search for “Mr. Right” had turned into a search for “Mr. Feel Right.” These dreamy ideas come from movies, romance novels, even fairy-tales — all based in fantasy! Christian women often add the ideal of Jesus on top of these romantic notions, forgetting He was the only perfect Man. And He won’t be found at the altar in a rented tux.

 

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Most Recent User Comments
Dutchyguy
11/27/2009 5:04 AM
"Have you ever looked at pornography of any kind" is not a good question.
Watching pornography is a sin, but not as bad as blaspheming the Holy Spirit. It's not right to ask a person if (s)he ever committed a sin - whatever that sin is - that (s)he might already have repented of and already has been forgiven for. If in such a case you would ask the Lord if that person had watched pornography, even if the actual answer should be Yes, His answer would be "No", because He promised us in Psalm 103:12, Jeremiah 31:34 and Jeremiah 50:20 that He would not remember our forgiven sins.
It's better to ask: Do you think watching pornography is ever acceptable? If his/her answer is sincerely No, then it's not relevant whether (s)he ever watched pornography in the past or not.
socksrock
11/26/2008 11:08 PM
This is an encouraging article, and I have a question. You state in the article that only a marriage that depends on God can withstand the bumps in the road. What do you think allows a marriage with only one partner knowing God, or neither of them, to last, and to be a good marriage?
elderdxc
11/20/2008 9:52 AM
Whoa, Nellie. I wasn't speaking with regard to anything personal; this isn't the place for that. I was speaking with regard to the focus of this article. I felt that it has a limited audience. In fact, it seems, in my opinion, to be better sited in the Singles Channel, since the target audience is people who are contemplating marriage, rather than people who already are married. While the article opened with a newlywed woman, it never discussed how Tracy's situation resolved itself until the end. In fact, it was only when I posted this comment that I even noticed the return to Tracy's story; was this a later addition? I honestly did not recall reading it the first time that I read this article.
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