We realize that people are different and there are different lifestyles and different areas of the country. And we know people are at different stages – some have little children, some have difficult work schedules. People have different financial situations. The point of this article is to jump-start your thinking.

So, as you begin reconnecting and get back to dating your mate, here are some things you need to consider:

• First, get the right perspective. Recognize that you have to give you and your spouse some time. If you’ve been stuck in a rut for awhile, you have to realize that you didn’t get there overnight and you won’t resolve everything overnight. But you can begin today to work on reconnecting, rekindling the flame, and reuniting your hearts and souls.
• Reconnect with God and be in prayer. Seek God’s help for wisdom and discernment as you consider how to go about this dating process. If there has been much pain and hurt in your marriage, you may need extra strength and courage to forgive or ask for forgiveness. If there has been distance, you need wisdom to know how to reconnect. Ask God to bless your endeavor.
• Make a commitment. You need to “do” the dates, but not just as a quick fix. Planning some dates and going out with your spouse is only the start. You need to maintain your marriage by constantly being aware of your spouse’s love needs and striving to meet them on a daily basis in your everyday life.
• Keep it up! Don’t stop dating just because you went on a couple of dates and your spouse seems to be appeased. Or because you think you’ve done enough to get out of your rut. Or because you think you’ve run out of ideas. Be creative! Your dates don’t have to be expensive or elaborate, they just need to be. You and your spouse need special times together. That’s what dating is all about. It should never stop! So keep on dating!

So, here’s the drill today. Ask your spouse on a date. It can be as simple or as fancy as you want. Take your spouse to dinner. Go for a walk. Whisk your mate away for an overnight getaway. The sky is the limit! You were probably pretty creative when the two of you were dating before you got married – so draw on that again! We can guarantee you one thing: The rewards will be well worth it!

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Portions of this article were adapted from "40 Unforgettable Dates with Your Mate," Copyright 2002 by Dr. Gary and Barbara Rosberg, all rights reserved.  Published by Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., www.tyndale.com.  To order this resource or to find our more about Dr. Gary and Barb – Your Marriage Coaches, visit www.drgaryandbarb.com or call 1-888-608-COACH. 

Married over 30 years, the parents of two adult daughters and five grandchildren, Dr. Gary and Barb Rosberg, your marriage coaches, have a unique blend of insight and wisdom that touch people of all ages. Together with Gary's 25,000 hours of counseling experience and Barbara's gift of encouragement and biblical teaching, they are equipping thousands of families across the nation through their interactive daily radio program, conferences, and marriage and family.