Editor's Note: Do you need sound, Biblically-based advice on an issue in your marriage or family?  Dr. David will address questions from Crosswalk readers in his weekly column. Submit your question to him at: TheRelationshipDoctor@gmail.com.

We read in the Genesis account of Creation that it was not good for man to be alone, and God created woman “to be a help mate” for man. And so, marriage was established for betterment humankind. God wants good things for His children, and that includes marital intimacy.

The Apostle Paul offers many clear images of how we are to treat our mate—always in a respectful and loving way. He challenges us to “Defer to one another in love,” and of course I Corinthians 13 spells out exactly what the marriage relationship is to look like. It is one of sacrifice for the purpose of building up our mate.

But, what happens when the marriage relationship is fraught with addictions and abusive behavior? Addictions occur when we seek illegitimate pleasure and attachments, creating false gods in our lives, and they lead to incredible destruction. We are not meant to have other idols or false attachments, and when we do, our lives become chaotic and dysfunctional.

Too many marriages today lack the qualities outlined in Scripture and instead reflect the addictive aspects of today’s society. The following letter indicates just some of the many issues facing marriage today.

Dear Dr. David:

I have been married for 25 years. My husband has abused alcohol and weed, and at times cocaine. He is addicted to the computer and online games. His every moment outside of working and sleeping is on the computer. He has been to treatment four times for the drinking and drugs, but he seems to never really stay sober. He has issues with excess credit card use, also. He does not show any affection. We don't kiss or vary rarely have sex. He always criticizes me and shows no support.

I have been unhappy for many years and wonder what I can do to change my marriage. I get blamed for every problem we have. He will not give up on any worldly thing that I have asked him to do so he can have a better relationship with the Lord. He gets into rages and rants and raves and says evil things. Where do I stand with believing and having faith for God to change him? ~ Worried About our Future

Dear Worried:

From your letter it is clear that you have many issues to be worried about. You are in a great deal of pain, and there are no pat answers or simple solutions. I’ll offer several ways you might begin to improve your life.