Editor's Note: Do you need sound, Biblically-based advice on an issue in your marriage or family?  Dr. David Hawkins, director of the Marriage Recovery Center, will address questions from Crosswalk readers in his weekly column. Submit your question t TheRelationshipDoctor@gmail.com.

Trust is something we take for granted.  

Trust is an invaluable commodity in a relationship. When you have it, you rest easily. When you lose it, you lie awake and wonder. You spin endless tales in your mind, hoping beyond hope none of them are true. You torture yourself with possibilities, and wonder if you are making everything up, or worry about the possibility that it really is true—your mate is being unfaithful.

In a world where we all know someone who has cheated, or perhaps even been there ourselves, it is no wonder that trust can be hard to find. The gossip at the water cooler is rampant with stories about people sneaking around. This, of course, doesn’t help your worries.

How can you know if you can trust your mate? Are there signs to look for? How does our Christian faith come to bear on such a topic? As we reflect on this sensitive topic, read this recent email from a reader.

Dear Dr. David:

I have been dating my girlfriend for about two years and we’ve had a good relationship. During our early dating I cheated on her and she cheated on me once. We’ve both been faithful in the past year and want to move forward toward marriage. The problem is, I’m not sure I can trust her. She is still flirtatious, and I know other guys are attracted to her. I think she likes the attention, but says she will never cheat on me again. How can I be sure? What can I do to settle the insecurities and jealousy I feel? -- Afraid to Commit

Dear Afraid:

You raise several issues worthy of your consideration. Let’s tackle them one at a time.

First, you say you cheated early in your dating relationship. It’s important to note here that God designed sexual intimacy for the covenant of marriage. Sexual involvement with anyone outside that covenant – even with your girlfriend whom you love – is harmful to you, your girlfriend, and your relationship with God. When a couple waits to become sexually involved until marriage, trust builds in the relationship because you are honoring God above your personal desires and demonstrating self-control to each other. Are you currently practicing sexual purity in your relationship? If not, make a commitment to discontinue sexual involvement until you've exchanged vows.