This gentleman offers a very wise, and thoughtful response. What do you think? Here’s another:

If this girl’s boyfriend doesn’t stop hanging around with his female coworker, I would think he is not being honest nor sincere to his girlfriend, and he should make up his mind of who he really wants to be with, and if he is interested more in his female coworker he should call it quits with his girlfriend, or if he is really interested in his girlfriend he should call it quits with his female coworker. It’s just wrong.

Here’s another:

My husband is a pastor. In your article regarding jealousy you said to "cast your vote." As a pastor, my husband is dealing with women quite often. However, he is wise enough to recognize that nobody is exempt from moral failure. Together we have set up boundaries that we both follow. We will not meet behind a closed door with a member of the opposite sex - not even for counseling. If he is counseling a woman he tells her upfront that I will be sitting in. He does not go to dinner with a woman. He does not ride alone in a car with a woman. These are things that we have encouraged in our church as well. Part if it is to keep from falling into sin. The other part is to avoid all appearance of evil. Still, another part is to keep ourselves out of a situation where we could be accused of any misconduct.

And one more:

Obviously, he is doing things he shouldn't be doing, or he would be open about it. True, we are not to be jealous, though God is a "jealous God." I think if he is doing this while they are still in the pre-marriage situation, it will probably become worse if she does go ahead and marries him. Probably not the best idea. A good, non-accusatory talk should come first, though, to try to find out what he is really thinking.  Most of all, PRAY!

• For the situation
• For God's peace
• For Wisdom
• For Discernment!

The compelling theme to the many responses is that we are to be sensitive to our mate—even if they appear excessively insecure or jealous. We are not the best judges of our behavior, and if our mate is jealous, this must be considered and respected.

Are you struggling with jealousy in your relationship? Is your mate sensitive to your feelings? I’d like to hear from others who have overcome problems of jealousy in their relationship, and specifically how they have done it. Please share your concerns with me at TheRelationshipDoctor@Gmail.com.

Published March 31, 2009.