As you reflect upon your marriage, consider where there are repeated wounds. Consider the shortcuts taken to try to gloss over significant problems in an effort to avoid taking strong medicine. Consider introducing the Three R’s to your marital problems—not in a punitive manner, but as a way of enacting real change.

If you struggle with a problem of deception in your marriage, introduce the Three R’s.

If there has been a lack of true healing from unfaithfulness, try the Three R’s.

If there is an ongoing issue with addiction of any kind, consider the Three R’s.

I’d love to hear how these strategies work for you. Please feel free to contact me for further information or advice on Marriage Intensives or consultations on what may be needed to assist you in your marriage. Share your concerns.

Dr. Hawkins is the director of the Marriage Recover Center where he counsels couples in distress. He is the author of over 30 books, including When Pleasing Others Is Hurting You, Love Lost: Living Beyond a Broken Marriage, and Saying It So He'll Listen. His newest books are titled  The Relationship Doctor's Prescription for Healing a Hurting Relationship and  The Relationship Doctor's Prescription for Living Beyond Guilt.  Dr. Hawkins grew up in the beautiful Pacific Northwest and lives with his wife on the South Puget Sound where he enjoys sailing, biking, and skiing. He has active practices in two Washington cities.