Even though they had some rough and rocky times getting adjusted, they were willing to do everything possible to make it work. It finally jelled. It worked.

Dealing with Parents

They could also relate to the situation with your parents. About the same time they were adjusting to the four children, the husband's mother had to move in with them for a while.  Again, the wife was willing to help her mother-in-law. She put herself in her husband's place. She explained that if her mother needed help, there would be no way her husband would keep her from helping. That's the way she felt about his mother. She knew that if she treated his mother right, if the time came for her parents to be helped, her husband would be willing, also.

The idea of wanting to have your spouse all to yourself is understandable, but not practical.  The reality is, when you marry, you do marry the other person's family (contrary to popular thinking).  Many couples have solved the problem of being around the other family members by moving to far off places or to the extreme other side of town.  However, with telephones and the internet, you are still as close as technology.  At least, you don't have to see them at meal time often.

I never had to blend a family.  But there are some suggestions for successfully blending families taken from The Woman's Study Bible. KJV, Thomas Nelson Publishers, 1992, page 65, "BLENDED FAMILY: Building a New Hom" that I want to paraphrase for you:

• Blending families means building a new home. How do you successfully build a new home? Build your home on Christ. Make Christ the focal point and supreme authority of your home, the foundation upon which everything is decided. Clarify the lines of authority and responsibility for you and your husband. Let the children know the role of both parents over each child. This helps maintain order in the home.
• Effective communication is a key. Heartfelt harmony, peace, and order require clear, direct, and convincing communication. Provide a regular forum for airing grievances, sharing ideas and opinions, and making family decisions, showing appreciation for each person's contributions to the family.
• Recognize that each family member is an individual with skills, talents, abilities, and know-how that is unique to them. If there are situations where forgiveness is necessary, do not hesitate to do so. Clear up the past in order to move on with joy, purpose, and commitment to the future. Allow each person the freedom to express his own personality and skills within the constraints of family rules.
• Remember the saying, "The family that prays together, stays together." Worship together and create a spiritual heritage for generations to come. Study the Bible together and teach the children Bible verses and Bible stories.
  

Take these suggestions seriously and practice them religiously. Take a lesson from the experts that tell us that successfully blending families can be less stressful and more fulfilling when you look clearly at the big picture. There's more people in the family than the two of you.