A balanced schedule includes specific time together alone, even if you have children. A date once a week will do wonders for both of you and will strengthen your communication. Take charge on Friday night and let her sleep in on Saturday morning. If she has preschoolers, relieve her from the five o'clock horror show at dinner and the bedtime scene by taking over with one or both duties. If your wife works outside the home, make sure that you share the chores and the responsibilities of the home with her. Ask her what needs to be done.
The Family's Identity and Hope
Help your wife and children understand that they are part of a uniquely developed family by God's choice. Develop this identity with activities that promote family togetherness, such as vacations, sports, church activities, youth activities, or family camps. If you promote family times as the children grow up, they will return for family outings even as adults. Make it a priority.
As part of securing your family's identity, always communicate your future visions and plans with your wife. Get her full input. Nothing affects a woman more than low expectations for your future, and that of your children. Don't expect your wife to understand your future vision without explaining it to her and making sure she comprehends it. If you plan to make a career change, she should not be the last one to find out about it.
Aging
Without spiritual interest, productivity, relationships, and responsibilities, people really suffer as they age. Protect yourselves from slow depression; develop spiritual interests and activities that can continue until death. If you do find depression developing, seek godly advice or medical help.
Typically, our wives will begin to dream about their future goals during their forties. Help your wife fulfill her dreams. Many women begin second careers at this point.
When grandchildren appear, husbands should allow those youngsters to become part of their lives, even if the grandchildren seem to scramble your schedule and exhaust you. They can help you stay active and make you feel important.
When you retire, use your talents part time. As your work-related activities decrease, your service to the Lord and His people can continually increase. Most of all, maintain your commitment to your wife intellectually, emotionally, spiritually, and sexually.
© 2003 Christian Family Life
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