Jayne didn't see the signs because it never occurred to her that her husband could ever be more than a fatherly mentor to "little Linda." After all, he was almost forty and she was just a child; so it must be completely innocent. Wrong

When I invited Jayne, Dennis, and their kids over for dinner, I thought it was odd that they brought their babysitter. Then, when Linda sat next to Dennis, I was a little more concerned. But when I saw him take several bites of food off the babysitter's plate, my "Home-Invasion-Alarm-System" signaled a code red.

I told Jayne about my suspicions, and she said, " Dennis is just being extra nice to Linda because she's depressed about her parents' divorce. We both love her. We think of her as our daughter."

A few months later, Dennis moved out. He married Linda when she turned eighteen, and they now have two children of their own. I bet Linda won't let him drive their babysitter home.

Even if he's innocent, it's his word against hers. My friend Renee always makes sure that she picks up and drops off the babysitter. When she is unable to go, she'll send one of the kids along. Having a third-party ride along is protection for the babysitter and for the husband, because he could be accused of something inappropriate and just the accusations are very damaging.

If you're in a financial position to have a nanny, I recommend an older Mrs. Doubtfire type. But even the actor who played her, Robin Williams, didn't follow that suggestion. He was married to Valerie for ten years, then he divorced his wife and married Marsha, his son's nanny

A foreign exchange student came to live with a woman I met at Bible study The underprivileged girl came with nothing and left with the woman's husband. When you let other people into your home, be very aware that problems like these are distinct possibilities.

We've considered the idea of renting a room to a student, because we have an extra bedroom and we live within walking distance of a college. But we can never agree on a renter. Ron would like a twenty-something/ female/Swedish blonde/massage-therapy student, however I envision a male sun-kissed surfer/weightlifter/police academy cadet who'd help me vacuum. Since we can't agree, I guess we'll keep our safeguards in place.

Just as we are on guard to protect our home from robberies, we want protect our homes from dangerous mental, sexual, and spiritual intrusion too. Your home can be a refuge and a safe haven if you are willing to make this verse your "Power Statement": "But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD" (Josh. 24:15).


Adapted from Avoiding The Greener Grass Syndrome: How to Grow Affair Proof Hedges Around Your Marriage (Kregel 12/1/04) by Nancy C. Anderson.

Nancy C Anderson is an author and speaker who lives in the O.C. with her husband of 26 years and their teenage son. Nancy and her husband love to teach at couples' retreats and seminars. They recently told the story of their Marriage Makeover on the Montel Williams Show. For more information, or to order her book, go to: www.NancyCAnderson.com.