How to Make Your Marriage Thrive for a Lifetime...Continued from page 1

Communication is the sum total of your entire being that gets transmitted to the other person with a message. And real communication only occurs when what's in your heart, mind, and soul reaches the heart, mind, and soul of the other person.

Communication is like a lubricant in your relationship. It helps keep your rough edges from grating on each other, and it helps cool you down when your emotions start heating up.

Third, a good marriage needs companionship. Companionship is the lifelong adventure of friendship. It's a continuation of what you did in courtship. It's dating, walking and talking together, and sharing common interests.

Companionship is what keeps your marriage running smoothly. The joy of companionship is what compels a working spouse to come home early rather than work late. It's a desire to be with your partner - to do things together.

And in being together and working together you learn about each other. You discover things you otherwise wouldn't have known, and that knowledge allows you to make adjustments - a tune-up of sorts - that deepens your love for each other.

Fourth, a good marriage needs a commission. A commission is a God-given vision to accomplish something in your lives together that is bigger than you are. It's a project, a goal, or a mission that goes beyond you and your spouse. It's a dream of serving others in a way that neither of you could accomplish on your own.

And as you minister together, a loving bond will be forged between you. You will grow closer to each other, and you will discover that there is real joy in serving others as a couple.

Finally, a good marriage needs counsel. No matter how good your marriage is, there will be times when it breaks down. You'll say something you shouldn't have said, you'll have a misunderstanding, you'll get stuck in a rut, or you'll encounter a problem that overwhelms you.

When that happens, you need to be willing to get help. You can go to God, read His Word, seek the advice of a trusted brother or sister in Christ, or pursue professional Christian counseling.

And there is no need to be ashamed or embarrassed about seeking assistance. Just like in driving a car, everyone at some time gets stuck on the side of the road. You may just need a little help to fix a tire or charge a battery and then you can go on. Just ensure that you are seeking wise, godly counsel - lest your problem become worse rather than better.

I sincerely hope that these insights will encourage you, whether you're currently married or considering marriage someday. Marriages today can work, and they can be great.

And with a little well-directed effort on your part, your marriage can be the exception-the marriage that thrives for a lifetime!
Excerpted from EdgeNotes , the bi-monthly newsletter of Living on the Edge; based on the series Broken Hearts, Broken Dreams. Used with permission.
Copyright 2004 by Chip Ingram. All rights reserved.
About the author: Chip Ingram is President of Walk Thru

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