Our trials don’t just produce spiritual fruit -- hard times are what help draw you together and cement your love and commitment to each other. How many times have you seen a family, a sports team, or a married couple overcome odds to come out on the other end with an even greater level of intimacy? The victories over life's challenges weave the special love story between you and your spouse that, years from now, will hopefully have you looking back with joy at the journey you've traveled together. We all wish to live on Easy Street, but without conflict or hardship your marriage would fail to flower into its full potential:
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. (James 1:2-12, emphasis added)
The Challenges Unique to Your Marriage
It's helpful to remember that flowers vary in their needs, just like us. Some flowers need a lot of rain and a little sun, others need the opposite. Some flowers need shade while others flourish in direct light. Other plants prefer fluorescent lighting. Make a point to know what your spouse needs.
As crazy as it sounds, some people actually crave conflict and don’t even realize it. Is your spouse drowning you with arguments? Maybe he or she is lacking the attention they desire and are compensating by thinking that negative attention is better than none at all. Does your spouse seem withdrawn? Lure them out with more "sunshine" by going the extra mile to be sweet and compassionate – slip a note into their purse or pants pocket, or bring home a bouquet of roses. It doesn’t take much effort to make your spouse’s day.
What is the rain in your marriage today? Financial problems? Insecurity? A lack of trust for each other? Do you doubt your spouse’s love for you? Are you jealous of your spouse’s friends or coworkers? Maybe it’s something small, like an argument over how to redecorate the bathroom. Maybe it’s a difference of opinion about issues in your church. Perhaps your spouse wants to purchase something that you feel is unnecessary, or maybe you want to take that vacation but your spouse insists you can’t afford it. Or maybe you’re just feeling burned out and overwhelmed and are taking our your frustrations out on each other.
Whatever your storm may be, work through it with faith that God will get you through to the other side; where the grass grows green and the flowers bloom in full. Don’t give up! Compromise and learn from the fights and the hard times. After the storm comes the rainbow, and after the rain comes life anew.
Betsy St. Amant resides in northern Louisiana with her husband, Brandon. They recently celebrated their one-year wedding anniversary. Betsy has an associate's degree in Christian Communications from Louisiana Baptist University and is actively pursuing a career in inspirational writing. You can contact her at Betsystamant@yahoo.com .
