Are You Giving Your Time Out of Duty?
- 2015 24 Aug
There was a group of women talking about their future and what might old age look like to each one of them. They talked about the possibility of not being able to see as well, perhaps having aches and pains they do not have now. They tried to relate to those in their lives that were well advanced in the process. Most had aging parents that needed some kind of assistance from time to time.
One woman spoke up and shared what she had told her children in the event she would need to be placed in assisted care. Their responsibility was to make sure she was surrounded by sweet smells; beautiful music and above all, they were not to make duty visits. The other woman looked perplexed and inquired, “What is a duty visit”. The woman explained that was a visit that was expected and given out of duty so no guilt would be felt later on about neglecting the loved one. The others again, were having a hard time relating.
The light bulb went on in her head. She had been guilty of duty visits to her parents. She did what was required, but not out of love. She realized how she had missed out on being and receiving a blessing from God; she was setting her children up for the same. Let the next time you visit a loved one be from an act of love, not duty.
Dr. David Hawkins is the director of the Marriage Recover Center where he counsels couples in distress. He is the author of over 30 books, including Dealing With the CrazyMakers in Your Life, 90 Days to a Fantastic Marriage, and When Pleasing Others is Hurting You. Dr. Hawkins grew up in the beautiful Pacific Northwest and lives with his wife on the South Puget Sound where he enjoys sailing, biking, and skiing. He has active practices in two Washington cities. You can also find Dr. Hawkins on Facebook and Twitter. Dr. Hawkins offers a free, 20 minute consultation, with requests sent to his email address at [email protected]. Also, remember his guarantee at The Marriage Recovery Center: 3 Days To A New Marriage, Guaranteed!