Relationships are challenging enough when there is clarity, but become even more difficult when or both partners fail to be clear with one another. Expecting your mate to read your mind, to know what you want them to say or do, is unfair and dangerous. Consider telling your mate what is bothering you, what you’d like from them and be clear. Be clear as well in regards to how you’d like them to treat you, what you appreciate about them and your concerns. Is this being selfish? I don’t think so. You allow them the freedom to give you what they want to give—you are simply being clear with your hopes and desires. 

Dr. David Hawkins is the director of the Marriage Recover Center where he counsels couples in distress. He is the author of over 30 books, including Dealing With the CrazyMakers in Your Life90 Days to a Fantastic Marriage, and When Pleasing Others is Hurting You. Dr. Hawkins grew up in the beautiful Pacific Northwest and lives with his wife on the South Puget Sound where he enjoys sailing, biking, and skiing. He has active practices in two Washington cities. You can also find Dr. Hawkins on Facebook and TwitterDr. Hawkins offers a free, 20 minute consultation, with requests sent to his email address at Also, remember his guarantee at The Marriage Recovery Center: 3 Days To A New Marriage, Guaranteed! He is also excited to continue offering his special eBook, A Love Life of Your Dreams free for you to download.