As I work with couples intensively, I notice what they do not. I notice them stepping on each other’s toes, dancing in a most awkward and at times, hurtful manner. Consider that every word you say, every gesture you make, all add up and create or destroy a relationship. Every emotional move draws you closer to someone or pushes them away. In this way we have the power to greatly influence how others feel about us. Consider the following exercise: Smile when you greet someone. Say something nice about their appearance or something they’ve done. Notice something about their life and be generous in your approval. Notice the impact and how nicely it fits into what I call ‘emotional dancing.’

Dr. David Hawkins is the director of the Marriage Recover Center where he counsels couples in distress. He is the author of over 30 books, including Dealing With the CrazyMakers in Your Life90 Days to a Fantastic Marriage, and When Pleasing Others is Hurting You. Dr. Hawkins grew up in the beautiful Pacific Northwest and lives with his wife on the South Puget Sound where he enjoys sailing, biking, and skiing. He has active practices in two Washington cities. You can also find Dr. Hawkins on Facebook and TwitterDr. Hawkins offers a free, 20 minute consultation, with requests sent to his email address at Also, remember his guarantee at The Marriage Recovery Center: 3 Days To A New Marriage, Guaranteed!