A couple sat before me a few days ago, each heatedly telling their side of the story. I felt like I was a judge sitting in a courtroom, hearing a “case.” No doubt they too felt like they were pleading their case. Yet, as they ‘plead their case’ they failed to really hear their mate. The heart and soul of their mate’s message was lost in their defensive posture. Solomon offers helpful advice: “Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God. God is in the heaven and you are on earth, so let your words be few” (Ecclesiastes 5:2).

Dr. David Hawkins is the director of the Marriage Recover Center where he counsels couples in distress. He is the author of over 30 books, including Dealing With the CrazyMakers in Your Life90 Days to a Fantastic Marriage, and When Pleasing Others is Hurting You. Dr. Hawkins grew up in the beautiful Pacific Northwest and lives with his wife on the South Puget Sound where he enjoys sailing, biking, and skiing. He has active practices in two Washington cities. You can also find Dr. Hawkins on Facebook and TwitterDr. Hawkins offers a free, 20 minute consultation, with requests sent to his email address at drdavid@marriagerecoverycenter.com. Also, remember his guarantee at The Marriage Recovery Center: 3 Days To A New Marriage, Guaranteed!