Trust, once broken, is hard to rebuild. But it can be done. Some reactively say, “You’ve broken my trust and I can never trust you again.” This statement, often made in heated moments, fails to embrace God’s power to change hearts—both the wounded heart and the one who has wounded. God is able to help a couple see how, in different ways, both have hurt each other and both can take responsibility for healing the relationship. Step back from the violation, or even repeated violations, that caused the breach of trust. Consider how you might lock arms to bring health and healing to your marriage. Begin by agreeing to rebuild trust, establishing hedges of protection so that violations to trust will not recur. “Have you not made a hedge about him, and about his house, and about all that he has on every side?” (Job 1:10)

Dr. David Hawkins is the director of the Marriage Recover Center where he counsels couples in distress. He is the author of over 30 books, including Dealing With the CrazyMakers in Your Life90 Days to a Fantastic Marriage, and Saying It So He'll Listen. Dr. Hawkins grew up in the beautiful Pacific Northwest and lives with his wife on the South Puget Sound where he enjoys sailing, biking, and skiing. He has active practices in two Washington cities.