In every accusation made against us there is a ‘kernel of truth.’ Sometimes we have to look hard and listen even harder to find it, but it’s there. “But, what if what they’re saying isn’t true?” you ask. Still seek the ‘kernel of truth.’ Look hard and listen even harder. Ask questions to seek more information. Why is that person upset? What has happened to provoke them into making such accusations? I suggest that in the majority of situations we will find something we can hang our hat on, something we can own as truth. Try it and see what difference it makes in the relationship. 

Dr. David Hawkins is the director of the Marriage Recover Center where he counsels couples in distress. He is the author of over 30 books, including Dealing With the CrazyMakers in Your Life90 Days to a Fantastic Marriage, and When Pleasing Others is Hurting You. Dr. Hawkins grew up in the beautiful Pacific Northwest and lives with his wife on the South Puget Sound where he enjoys sailing, biking, and skiing. He has active practices in two Washington cities. You can also find Dr. Hawkins on Facebook and TwitterDr. Hawkins offers a free, 20 minute consultation, with requests sent to his email address at Also, remember his guarantee at The Marriage Recovery Center: 3 Days To A New Marriage, Guaranteed! He is also excited to continue offering his special eBook, A Love Life of Your Dreams free for you to download.