Imagine playing the game of Pick Up Sticks. You have one task—pick up one stick---you must focus on one problem. “What is it my mate is trying to say to me? What is he/she bothered about? How can I help?” Become narrow-minded on this one problem. Don’t allow yourself to bounce around—it will only create chaos.

Dr. David Hawkins is the director of the Marriage Recover Center where he counsels couples in distress. He is the author of over 30 books, including Dealing With the CrazyMakers in Your Life90 Days to a Fantastic Marriage, and When Pleasing Others is Hurting You. Dr. Hawkins grew up in the beautiful Pacific Northwest and lives with his wife on the South Puget Sound where he enjoys sailing, biking, and skiing. He has active practices in two Washington cities. You can also find Dr. Hawkins on Facebook and Twitter