Journal about what you are feeling. Begin by telling yourself the truth, and then lead into having a critical conversation with your mate about something that has been troubling you. Own the topic, avoiding any hint of blame or projection. Make it about what you are feeling, not about what he/ she has done. “For whatever is hidden is meant to be disclosed, and whatever is concealed is meant to be brought out into the open. If anyone has ears to hear, let him hear” (Mark 4:22).

Dr. David Hawkins is the director of the marriage recover center where he counsels couples in distress. He is the author of over 30 books, including dealing with the crazymakers in your life90 days to a fantastic marriage, and saying it so he'll listen. Dr. Hawkins grew up in the beautiful Pacific Northwest and lives with his wife on the South Puget Sound where he enjoys sailing, biking, and skiing. He has active practices in two Washington cities.