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"Just" a Homemaker?
Kim Wolf
Titus 2:3-5 (NIV) – "Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home,* to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God." *KJV = keepers at home
What happens to us when someone asks what we "do for a living"? Do we proudly step up and proclaim the pride we feel in fulfilling God's purpose for us and let them know that we are Homemakers...wives, moms, homeschool teachers, keepers of our homes and all that the moniker implies? Or...do we shrink back, roll our shoulders in and meekly say, "Me? Oh, I'm JUST a homemaker."
"Excuse me?"
"Eh-hmmm. I'm just a homemaker."
"I'm sorry, what did you say?"
"I'M JUST A HOMEMAKER! Sorry."
Why do we often feel like we should apologize for doing what God's will for our life is?! Why do we feel that the only way we are to "make a difference" in the world is to cram ourselves into power suits, heels and face the anxiety of not only trying to stay employed but then trying to run our household as well? Been there, done that, got the stinkin' t-shirt!
What message are we sending to our daughters? That they should be ashamed or honored? Which message are they supposed to adhere to...one that says, "Sorry, Honey, but your lot in life is to only be a housewife and mom; oh, and if you want to, you can homeschool, too"? Or are we sending the message that says, "Oh, Honey! God has honored women by allowing us to not only have the privilege of creating life, but He has given us the gift of being the keeper of our homes and all that it entails!"
We know that it's not all roses and rainbows or June Cleaver doing her housework in a perfectly pleated dress, pearls, make-up and hair. But what we do counts for far more than the "image" that the power suits imply. We are the "hand that rocks the cradle" and we do influence the world!
How in the world did illusion get so far? Looking back from the distance of time, I can see where some of our problems with liberalism and feminism began to take root in our Baby Boomer generation. In my own experience, my mom was the baby of 14 from a very rural Kentucky farm family; her experience was to be raised side-by-side with her dear mother and learning all the household skills – cooking, preserving and canning, cleaning and arranging, childcare (LOTS of nieces and nephews!), etc. Once she was married and had my brother and me, she believed that the best way to help my dad make ends meet was to go out, find a job and bring in a little money on the side. Well, that "side" turned into full-time and a literal life away from home.
No longer did her smiling face greet us at the door when we got off the bus; but my brother got that awesome guitar. No longer could we sneak a peek out in the audience of the school play and see her smiling face; but she "knew" that we did well anyway. No longer was there the opportunity to learn side-by-side with my mom in the kitchen; but I had lots of trendy clothes. Thinking back, I can tell you of many times that my mom would bring home some cute little outfit and she would be a little offended that I wasn't as "grateful" as she thought I should have been. Sure, I was very grateful for everything I received, but I didn't want the "stuff." I didn't realize it then and I couldn't put it into words, but what I wanted was my MOM! I wanted her time and knowledge. I wanted a relationship.
Most Recent User Comments
dboe
1/18/2010 2:57 PM
And further, why should we limit our daughters by only teaching them that one way of life is valid? Staying at home may be for some girls but not for all, or perhaps it will be for some point in time. Give them a good education, let them see professional women at work and at home and decide the path that is right for them. Maybe my daughter will want to be an astronaut, or a stay at home mom. I will be happy with both if she is. I feel sad that the church seems to be teaching girls through articles like these that they will lose if they work outside the home. I did not lose and neither did my mom by her working outside the home. The feminist movement was not all bad. Why should we be afraid of empowering our daughters this way? Also public education is not bad, I went throught it and met a wonderful and great diversity of people. Lets be more flexible and creative church. Lets start empowering women for whatever they feel called to do, in the home or out of it..
dboe
1/18/2010 2:49 PM
My mother's funeral was December 6 of this year. She was a clinical dietician and a wonderful mother. I never felt a sense of loss that she did not stay home and "bake me cookies". Rather, she empowered me to get a good education and a Masters degree and a profession while also teaching me I could be a good wife and mother, if I wanted to. Almost the entire hospital she worked for came to her memorial service and funeral. But I always felt close to her, she could never attend all my swim meets but I always felt she made more than enough time for me. She not only taught me how to cook but also how to interpret and appreciate the scientific process. She taught me that women can accomplish, happily whatever they put their minds too. Church, we should be teaching the same things, not all girls are meant to "stay home", some may not even want children. Let them be and let them live as Christians however God calls them, all paths are equally valid, my non stay at home mother taught me that..
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I've talked to my husband about this. He never pushed me to go to work but when I did he decide that he would use my income to pay off our debt more quickly. We have refinanced our home so that it will be paid off in ten years. Unfortunately, by then our children will be mostly grown. I feel like I am stuck, I have cheated myself and my family. I need a miracle!