For example, suppose my (Jim’s) daughter comes to me and asks, “Daddy, may I go to the beach with the Foster family today?”

I must help her see the whole picture, so I say, “You would have a great time at the beach with the Fosters. They’re some of our best friends, and you’re welcome to go with them most of the time. However, we’re having your sister’s birthday party at the same time. Which do you think is more important?”

My goal is to let her make the right decision on her own. However, I may well hear, “But Rebecca has all her friends coming to the party, and she really wouldn’t care if I wasn’t there.”

In that case, I may have to put my foot down and say, “Today you are not allowed to go with the Fosters because I believe it’s more important for our family to celebrate Rebecca’s birthday together.” Although I had to impose my will, I still introduced the concept of thinking and choosing logically, not just emotionally.

Social and Communication Skills

Many kids today use alcohol and tobacco as a means of connection and building community with each other. As a result, that places an even greater importance on the fact that parents must take the time to teach children, through instruction and by example, to socialize and communicate without chemical assistance. Kids need to be exposed to social situations from a young age and shown how to relate to others in a relaxed manner. The edge of awkwardness needs to be rubbed off by caring parents. A child will then have less need to find social success in a bottle or a pill.

Positive alternatives to drugs and alcohol also need to be implanted in kids’ minds. Parents can help a child find and develop some skill or talent so the child feels competent. Sports and the arts are good possibilities. They build self-esteem and fill time that might otherwise be used to do drugs.

The Dangers of Losing Control

One of the first people I (Steve) worked with was a girl who drank and used drugs. She was raped in a vacant house. Pregnancy, AIDS, other sexually transmitted diseases, and automobile accidents are real consequences of losing control. Take time to explain the possible consequences of drug use to your children. If you don’t, they will see only the glamour of losing control as portrayed in movies and television.

All these areas of education form the foundation for prevention efforts that follow. Without education, the prevention efforts will fail.

Part II: Facts and Myths about Alocholism and Abuse

Taken from: How to Talk to Your Kids About Drugs. Copyright © 2007 by Stephen Arterburn and Jim Burns. Published by Harvest House Publishers, Eugene, OR. Used by permission.

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Stephen Arterburn founded New Life Ministries, a broadcast, counseling, and treatment ministry. He hosts the syndicated New Life Live! radio program and has written more than 60 books, including the Every Man series and Healing is a Choice. He's won three Gold Medallions and holds degrees from Baylor and North Texas State Universities.

Jim Burns, Ph.D., founded HomeWord and hosts the radio program HomeWord with Jim Burns. The author of many resources, including Creating an Intimate Marriage and Parenting Teenagers for Positive Results, he has also won three Gold Medallion Awards. Jim holds degrees from Azusa Pacific University, Princeton Theological Seminary, and Greenwich School of Theology.