Start with the basics: a child-sized table and chair – not in the bedroom, but somewhere in the midst of the hustle and bustle of daily life.

Besides a stool in the bathroom to enable him to take care of his needs, a stool in the kitchen will open a whole new world to him as he becomes part of meal preparation.

Put a peg rack at his height near the front door so he can hang up his own jacket when he comes in. A boot tray un­derneath will keep dirt off your carpets and help him re­member where his shoes are.

Keep things organized in an attractive way.  Opt for shelves over toy baskets. Use clear plastic containers to sort and hold things like small blocks, lacing cards, pegs, and puzzles.  Teach your child to take out one exercise at a time, to spend as much time as he wants with it, and then to put it back before taking out anything else.

Order provides your child with a feeling of security. When he knows where to hang his jacket, where to put his shoes and toys, he feels confident and secure.  Your understanding of your child’s need for order, and your loving provision will nurture this potential in his life and work. This will make it easier for him to accomplish all that he under­takes.

Self-control

While the old adage, “Children should be seen and not heard” was certainly harsh, today’s cultural climate, with parents who indulge noisy kids during church, movies and plays is certainly an example of a pendulum swung too far.   Now it seems anything goes: “After all, they’re only children.”

But that approach leaves out a vital piece of any preschooler’s education.  Ask the parents of teens who discovered too late the consequences of raising kids without self-control to balance their independence.  For the best results, these two really must go hand-in-hand. 

Helping release a child’s potential for self-control begins with helping him master his own body.  Use balance beam exercises and old-fashioned games like Mother, May I? and Simon Says.

In situations like church, be clear in outlining the expected behavior.  Challenge them to take control over fidgety hands and restless legs: “You are the boss of your own body. You can tell it what to do.”

Teach them to control their tongue when speaking to siblings – no bad language, name calling, sarcasm, or put-downs. 

Also to control their reac­tions to life’s frustrations: a child who learns that ending up with an extra buttonhole at the neck is not cause for a major meltdown, but simply a signal to start over.