In the parable of the talents (Matthew 25), Jesus characterized fearful living as a kind of criminal behavior—as a crime against oneself, against one’s neighbor, and against that person’s ability to draw close to God. Henri Nouwen wrote, “You need a lot of trust to give yourself fully to someone else. . . . Many people . . . simply don’t want to make waves and instead go along with the trend. That is not obedience. That is adaptation.”

Refusing to make waves is not an indicator of a life well lived. Refusing to make waves is the state that precedes drowning.

Passing It On

The problem of timid living is perpetuated with the creation of timid children. Ominous research tells us that today’s kids are more timid, risk-averse, and anxiety-ridden than past generations. Fear, my fellow parents, is our newest baby-sitter, our most prominent child-care consultant. The reasons are many, but one of the most misunderstood and underreported is our nation’s most pervasive preoccupation: overprotective parenting.

We coaches call them ‘‘helicopter parents,’’ because they constantly hover, and man, do they know how to attack. Most have no idea how their micromanaging hurts their kids behind the scenes, in the locker room, and on the bench. By taking everything into their own hands and trying to make life smooth and painless, parents are preventing children from developing the abilities they need to actualize their potential. In the blunt words of Hara Estroff Maran:

“With few challenges all their own, kids are unable to forge their creative adaptations to the normal vicissitudes of life. That not only makes them risk-averse, it makes them psychologically fragile, riddled with anxiety. In the process they’re robbed of identity, meaning and a sense of accomplishment, to say nothing of real happiness. Forget, too, about perseverance, not simply a moral virtue but a necessary life skill. These turn out to be the spreading psychic fault lines of the 21st-century youth. Whether we want to or not, we’re on our way to creating a nation of wimps."

Ten years ago or so, college counseling centers primarily helped students cope with roommate conflict and adjustment to college life. No more. The vast majority of the nation’s college counseling centers report they are under siege, trying to meet the demands of unprecedented numbers of students with a range of serious psychological problems. From major and manic depression to eating disorders to self-harm to substance abuse, campus mental health centers are increasingly dealing with conditions that have life and death consequences.

Jean Twenge, psychology professor at San Diego State University, says today’s average child reports more anxiety than child psychiatric patients did fifty years ago. ‘‘These are not the children of Beirut, or Israel’s Haifa, or of Afghanistan,’’ writes Patricia Pearson of USA Today. ‘‘These are American kids being terrified of math tests and bicycles.’’