Does this sound impossible? Let us assure you it is not. Don't buy the lie of what society is saying about today's kids. Don't accept that kids are just naturally disrespectful and surly these days. If you accept that as reality, then you will not parent them in a way that achieves anything different.

You can raise children and teenagers who respect you, respect other adults and respect God. You can see your sons and daughters grow increasingly closer to you and to God as the years go by, rather than hardened and disinterested. But first you must believe that it is possible.

We will get into the nuts and bolts of this process later in the chapter. But for now, let's take note of a vital cornerstone for building: We must evidence our own attachment to God "with all our heart."

Do your kids see in you a passion for pleasing the Lord? Do they sense that God is the most precious Person in your life? Do they know that you would never consciously displease Him? Watching how you live out your love for the Lord is how they will learn to love the Lord wholeheartedly.

All Your Soul

Closely related to loving God with our whole heart is loving God with our entire soul. (These four phrases, by the way, are not separate boxes on a table, distinct from one another. They are all intertwined in ways none of us fully comprehend.)

"Soul" is an interesting and somewhat perplexing word. We know it refers in some way to our eternal being, the part of us that lives forever—the part of us that survives the death of the body. The bumper sticker that reads, "He who dies with the most toys wins" is blatantly false. There's a better one out now that says, "He who dies with the most toys still dies!" Our society has always struggled to get the right perspective on material prosperity. We live in the most affluent economy in the history of the world, yet here in the United States depression is rampant, suicide is common and the misuse of prescription drugs is skyrocketing—in other words, our souls are sick. People arrive at the twilight of their years and realize too late that they spent their entire lives chasing a phantom. Jesus said, "What good will it be for you to gain the whole world, yet forfeit your soul? Or what can you give in exchange for your soul?" (Matt. 16:26, TNIV).

The eternal destiny of every parent and every child is too important to assume that God will welcome us all into His heaven one way or another. Don't consign this crucial matter to the church, the youth pastor, the parachurch ministry to students (like Young Life, with whom we happen to work), or some evangelist on television. Make sure a salvation decision is made by every person under your roof, because it is truly a matter of life or death.