Finally, the father’s conversation with the older brother tells us a parent’s love must be unconditional, whether the children rebel or comply. Isn’t it fascinating that, despite the outward appearance, the older brother didn’t seem to love the father any more than the younger one?  He didn’t protest when the property was divvied up at the beginning of the story.  He described his labor on behalf of the father as “slavery”.   He demonstrated the ultimate sign of a compliant legalist – entitlement.  His behavior towards the father was designed to force the father to reward him with his inheritance, rather than being a grateful response to the father’s loving provision.  He was running away from the father’s love just as much as his brother, but in a socially acceptable, self-righteous kind of way.  Of course, the father gives the older son the same response as the younger – he gently lets this son know that compliance didn’t earn him anything.  He already has everything the father has just by being his son.  Working for the father should have been his response, rather than a condition, to his love.

The story of the prodigal “son” challenges parents to value real heart change and authenticity over superficial compliance.  James 1:2-3 says, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, when you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.”  Although it’s tough, sometimes the most loving thing we can do for our kids is to allow the transforming power of personal experience. 

Parenting by Design (www.parentingbydesign.com) was created by Chris & Michelle Groff with Lee Long, MA, LPC to help parents understand the Biblical model for parenting their children. It is a faith-based parenting series that compares current parenting paradigms to the ageless parenting principles in the Bible.

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