Bullies are the most disliked group of children in any given classroom.  The kids they pick on come in second (more on this later).

Bullies are often both abuser and abused.  They frequently receive parenting that uses unhealthy force to get them to behave a certain way.  School bullies are often bullied at home, where their will, wants, and desires are overridden and trampled.  In turn, they override and trample others.

This is what Brigham Young University professors Clyde Robinson, David Nelson, and Craig Hart wanted people to understand from the results of the study that inspired the movie “Mean Girls.”  They concluded that much of children’s behavior does not depend on their own thoughts but on the way they see their parents and older siblings acting at home.

That helps explain the bewilderment, dismay, and anger some parents experience when they try to reason with a bully’s parents.  An appeal to a common good—respect for personal boundaries—isn’t sufficiently respected by coercive parents.  They don’t believe or acknowledge that trampling occurs.  To them, coercion is normal and natural, possibly even right.  And their children are following suit. 

A regular perception is that bullies have more testosterone in their bodies than others.  One study shows the opposite: they actually possess less than bystanders and victims.  Hormones aren’t required for the doling out of abuse.  A deflated sense of others and an inflated view of self is far more common.  Research shows that bullies possess a positive view of themselves even when their peers unanimously don’t More so, they actually believe their peers think highly of them as well.  Their self-deception would likely be met with pity by other parents if it weren’t for the behavior they unleash.  Bullies in many ways are a tragic study in self-delusion.

Though bullying peaks in the middle-school years, it often doesn’t end there.  A Rowan University Study found that elementary school bullies frequently persist throughout their high school and college years.  Not surprisingly, physical bullying is replaced with verbal bullying, since physically assaulting another adult is far more likely to results in real trouble with the law.

Other characteristics of bullies:

~They do not take rejection to heart or learn from it the way other kids do.

~They deny their maladjustment and often blame others for their problems.

~Boys are more prone to physically bully; girls tend to bully by attacking social status and ties—through damaging, manipulating, or controlling their relationships.

~Female bullies are more likely to become mothers prone toward maternal irritability, says psychiatrist Sue Bailey.  They’re more likely to become teenage mothers, enter into violent relationships, and suffer infection and injuries.