Idealism. Everything will not go according to plan. You'll find that parenting books and advice from others doesn't always prove to be beneficial or even realistic. Each child, parent and situation is different. Parenting is not an exact science. Establish some guidelines to give you direction, but don't panic if you deviate some from the original plan.
Perfection. Know that you will not do everything perfectly. At times, you will be impatient, overbearing, unreasonable and illogical. Apologize to your child and/or spouse when this happens. Just because you're a parent doesn't mean your decisions are always correct. Be demanding of yourself but forgiving at the same time.
Your God-given Role
No matter what, you make the calls. Don't be afraid to ask advice but don't be afraid to ignore it either. Don't measure success by whether or not your child is happy with your decisions. Your child's feelings on your decisions do not determine your worth as a parent. Throughout history, parents have been familiar with the sound of stomping feet and yells of defiance. Your child's reaction does not make your decision wrong any more than it makes it right.
Jesus refers to God as, "the good Father (Luke 11:12-14)," yet His children have stomped their feet, complained, cried, rebelled, cursed, and said, "That's not fair!" Yet He is still the good Father.
In the end, you have to do what you think is right and best for the life you brought into the world. Don't let any other person make those decisions for you.
© 2003 Family Dynamics Institute
Lee Wilson is on staff at Family Dynamics Institute, a marriage and family ministry that trains church leaders, counselors and lay couples to lead marriage-enrichment classes. You can visit their web site at
www.familydynamics.net or call them at 1-800-650-9995.
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